Caticide! -Alex Tsai

OMG! A cat commits suicide with a gun!

Suiciding cat1, " I have been tortured by my cruel  owner meow. Meow, I don't know what to do until I found this book called Cure to Being Petted written by Lion Claw Goodness. The book is so instructional, informational and so moving that I could barely refuse to follow the instructions in this book meow! So I decided to go to the meow heaven, meow. The only problem for me meow is that there's no way to get there except dying. So, so long! Oh, and remember, the next time you quote me, please don't use suiciding cat1, O.K? My name is Terry John Panther, good bye! 'Bang' ".

 * note that quote is translated


OMG?! A cat commits suicide with inside a toilet bowl!

Suiciding cat2, "me a stoopid Irish cat zat can't speak or write English properly, but me no zat some guy in zis world-weird Earth is stoopiter than me! So me got happy. I even believed in Voldemort. Me hav com to the fat pigs' heaven- Amelica! Now me wan go home, but me don't hav enough $ to go to Ireland. So me look disappointed. I red book about oceans and sea potty flush and go bak to ocean, so I jump in toilet and me hear tolking to you. So gooda bye! 'vwaashhhh'!".
*Note that quote is translated from Irish cat to Irish then to slang English.
*The cat can't speak very well, so we could barely understand, so this quote up here might be illegible. Sorry for the confusion. Try to understand it by opening your heart of stupidity and cleverness.

                                                                                                                      - Alex Tsai Articles.